“Something wrong?”

“No, just trying to reach a number.”

“Er...Then why are you shaking your phone like that? Is it not working?”

“Oh no! It’s working perfectly well. In fact, it is working too well. You see, it is a new prototype that we have developed. It works on motion-sensing technology and responds to physical movement.”

“What?”

“Oh well, in simple English – most of the time, you don’t need to punch any buttons or touch the screen. Just move the phone in a particular way and the intelligent microprocessor within will sense what you want to do.”

“Oh, wow!”

“I am glad you are impressed. We really worked hard on it. We had to program the phone to recognise different movements and emotions. You need to wear this Greentooth headset...”

“Greentooth?”

“New wireless technology. So called because it will turn our competitors green with envy. Anyway, this headset sends the status of your brainwaves to the handset, activating sensors in the handset (made with our specially patented Touchy Feely Killee technology), telling it to behave accordingly!”

“Gosh!”

“A very apt exclamation, my friend. Mind you, we do have to work out a few bugs.”

“Nothing serious, I hope?”

“Oh no, nothing that serious. We had built in weapons functionality that turned the phone into a grenade when it was thrown at a person. Unfortunately, the same happens when it is dropped accidentally too. Three of our scientists are already a leg short, and one of them suffered a rather embarrassing injury when he fell down the stairs with the prototype in his trouser pocket.”

“That is sad...”

“No sacrifice is too great for science. Four of the development team already have been burnt to a crisp trying out the laser ray functionality. Two more died of injuries sustained while testing its bullet-proof exterior. Three are in jail for inappropriate use of its 19.5 megapixel camera and two are in the ICU after testing the digestibility of its memory expansion cards (made using the waiting to be patented Snack Chip SD technology). ”

“Ahem, but does the consumer need all this?”

“What?”

“The consumer...”

“Where does the consumer come into all this? Look, we are making a state-of-the-art product. Once it is ready, the consumer can decide whether he or she wants it or not. Good lord! If we start thinking of the consumer, there will be no technological progress.”

“That is not fair. The consumer buys...”

“Precisely. The consumer buys. And that is what he or she is best suited to do. Let them do the buying, while we develop the products. Now, where does consumer need come into all this? Were it not for us, the consumers would not even know the options they have at their disposal.”

“I see your point...”

“Good! Now back to work, while I try to get that number. Damn!”

“Why don’t you restart the phone?”

“It does not restart unless I give it a mental command to do so.”

“So give a mental command.”

“Yes, but for that I need a Greentooth 3.0 headset. The one I am wearing is 2.0. It tends to misinterpret my thoughts. It once started showing a strange MMS when I asked it to restart!”

“Well, then try the phonebook...”

“Accessing the phonebook requires three delicate left side movements, one abrupt right side movement and for the phone to be tossed into the air, 90 degrees to the north of the user’s current location.”

“Do it then...”

“Tossing it into the air is dangerous, because it sometimes activates the weapons functionality, causing the set to explode. And I don’t have a compass anyway to work out north!”

“Why don’t you simply add a keypad to the set?”

“Don’t be ridiculous! That would be so...paleolithic! Now get out of my sight and let me shake my phone in peace!”